pensive

A Bedtime Story (public for lulz)

A friend of mine couldn't sleep so he asked for a bedtime story.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess whose hobbies included sharpshooting, alligator walking, and fire breathing. She ruled her kingdom with an iron fist. literally an iron fist because her hand was bitten off one unfortunate day by an alligator. So anyway, she tries to go through the airport but her iron fist sets off the security alarm.

But they thought she was a terrorist because recently people had been blowing up planes with their prosthetic limbs. Not to be deterred, she beat up all the airport security. but !~! a challenger appears, as the dashing pilot steps off the plane and decides that he's going to marry the princess.

Ok so, the princess didn't want to marry a commoner like the pilot, but she begrudgingly made a deal that if he could keep up with her for one day, she will marry him. He shook her iron hand, and the challenge was set. The next day he met her at daybreak on a hill. She pointed to the horizon and said there was a target but he couldn't see anything.

So she handed him a gun and told him to hit it. So he pointed the gun into the distance and fired. "What were you aiming at" she asked. "Your heart" he replied

She scoffed, and snatched away the gun. Its time to walk my pets, she announced. Her pets were 2 huge alligators, with very nasty personalities. She put one on a leash and handed it to him. To her surprise, Amelia did not try to eat one of his legs.

"I grew up on an alligator farm" he told her. "They are very gentle creatures, even with such harsh exteriors"

She made a nasty comment about his breeding, to mask her surprise. The last thing for the day, was fire breathing. She looked at him expectantly, figuring that fire breathing was beyond him too. "Why don't you give it a try?" she asked. "But you see princess," he said with a goofy smile "You have already set my heart on fire"

So finally, over dinner of STEAK she gives him his evaluation. "You are a terrible shooter. You can't breathe fire. You don't seem to take anything seriously and constantly spout silliness. The only good thing I saw was that amelia liked you. So, what do you think I should do?"

The pilot looked back at her and simply said: Buy the first round of drinks? And she agreed, and they went to her favorite bar which coincidentally happened to be his favorite bar except they never met because they always went a day off from each other, and they lived happily ever after with their 2 alligators and 1 miniature kingdom.

the end
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